You Deserve the Effort Too: How to Stop Neglecting Yourself
“I’ve worked so hard, and what do I have to show for it?” I remember this thought accompanied by intense feelings of grief and dissatisfaction as I looked back over the last decade of my life. I had the degrees, certifications, and a good reputation. People enjoyed being with me, and I liked them to a certain extent, but I felt like my life lacked depth, like I was spinning my wheels.
Then I had an “aaaaahhhh” moment. I realized that to some extent I had been putting my effort into a lot of good places yes, but neglected one of the most important places…….. myself.
Here’s the thing: you are not reading this because you are broken, not good enough, lazy, or anything else along those lines. You are reading this as a reminder that just like your career, your family, and your friends, you, too, are worth your effort.
Take a moment and ask yourself: “What are the things that I so willingly give everyone else that I feel bad about doing for myself? Is it resting, acknowledging that you indeed have done something hard and done it well, investing your time back into your own well-being and peace of mind, or using your resources for something that you need? The list can go on and on. Now ask yourself: why am I comfortable neglecting/ dismissing those needs?
What I learned years ago when that “aha” moment hit me, and what I hope you take away from this is that the hard work and effort that you have put in is not wrong, but sometimes we are not putting effort into the places that matter: ourselves. You will never regret investing in yourself, and the satisfaction that comes from that investment and effort will yield dividends for years to come. I need you to know that it’s not selfish, and it’s not a waste of time.
Practical tips on investing in yourself:
Set aside uninterrupted time for yourself in the week
Start therapy and or coaching to begin addressing and changing your habits and mindset
Make a list of all the things you willingly do for others, use this as a guidepost for things to do for yourself
normalize rest and slowing down (this is a time investment)
manage your physical well-being
